Stress from Covid-19 is something everyone deals with. Besides restrictions, COVID-19 provides us with a lot of stress and negativity. Anxiety is a normal reaction of the human body to face a pandemic situation. However panic and fear might be as dangerous to ourselves, as to people around us.
Until the pandemic is all over, we’ve got to stay as calm and focused, as we can. The COVID-19 vaccines are here, new ones are in progress, and every day we come closer to achieving the unique solution.
And again: did we stay stable and not driven by transitory emotions, overtaking us, as lockdowns come and go? Did our relationship grow stronger more than ever? Or did the opposite happen? Sharing evenings and weekends can be achieved as a quiet, peaceful time with your loved one. However, spending every 24 hours together is another story, and it doesn’t always finish with a happy ending. Fighting about children, labour chores, nasty habits, and other things is a challenge not every couple survives after.
So, how can we continue living as a happy couple? It turns out there’s always a way out of every situation. There’s always an expert with years of research and clinical experience to share.
It’s most important to understand that accepting means facing the new normal, not confronting it and trying to change it. Which leads directly to lowering your expectations on what you can and achieve. Also how long it is going to take and what you’re doing right or wrong. And while self-judgement and self-respect are really virtues, the same must be applicable to your partner. You must learn to appreciate pandemic outbreak as a possibility to spend more time with your partner. There is an opportunity to go deeper in your relationship, instead of ruining it with accusations and insults.
You have to adjust yourself to it, while also being able to enjoy giving away and taking in return. As the Austria and Germany survey, conducted by Barbara Rothmuller shows, in the past year couples actually had more fun together. In April 74 % of them appeared to like the company of their beloved one. Furthermore, they felt the same way in November, dropping a few percent to 69 %.
A 69-year song by the American singer Dan Hicks says: “How can I miss you when you won’t go away?“.
Well, it can all be applied to nowadays pandemic situations. Everybody needs a space for togetherness, and one for being alone. You have to learn how to deliver this to your partner because you both deserve it.
It’s not easy to fight for privacy when there isn’t enough room and everybody’s at home, but it’s not impossible. In fact, it’s an excellent opportunity to explore your partner’s habits. This way you see if there are still some things you don’t know about each other. Whether you’ll like them or not, only time will tell, and that’s what makes COVID-19 a game-changer.
It takes a lot of patience, empathy and respect for your beloved one. You have to do it if you want your relationship to go through the crisis, and be a survivor in the end. You have to earn it, because you deserve it.
The pandemic pushes you to develop new, common interests. Being involved in an enjoyable action can connect you in a different way.
Grieving is also an option because you certainly share the same emotions. Also, you both have lost in COVID-19 a lot, no matter if it’s a job, relatives, or friends. Maybe you’re just being frustrated by restrictions, obeying orders and wonder when it all will be over.
Either way it’s always easier to have a shoulder to cry on. We’re all going through an extremely hard period. However, the shared fear and pain are less stressful. They make the danger look smaller and give us some consolation, even in a pandemic time.
How to deal with stress from Covid-19? Connecting sex and psychoanalysis is known since Sigmund Freud’s theory of 5 stages of psychosexual development. It has been used as a therapy for many years from him and his followers.
In fact, Maastricht University and KU Leuven Institute for family and sexual studies have conducted 2 studies last year. It assumed 10 minutes of kissing and cuddling are enough to provoke a feeling that appeared to be unachievable before. Their survey included couples living in Belgium, Germany, and the Netherlands, who volunteered to participate in it, in exchange for reimbursement. During the coronavirus pandemic, this might be another thing, bonding our relationship and keeping it stronger and well-balanced.
It looks like this one makes sense, much more than the other tips. The reason is that it seized the most common reasons for people to argue, when being in lockdown. Again, learning to appreciate someone’s help is needed and showing gratitude is expected. All the positive emotions are welcomed here and it’s a lot better to be open-minded and show care.
In a pandemic situation, everything and everybody matters. Living in a cage with your partner, or your family as a whole can be turned into a living hell. While conflicts, divorces and split-ups, as inequality and domestic violence aren’t tolerated, discovering of the opportunities COVID-19 lockdown gives us to take advantage of, is so essential. Beyond it all, it’s only love that counts, gives the better advice to follow and teaches the best lessons to learn.
Author: Liliya Ganeva