Besides restrictions, COVID-19 provides us with a different amount of positive, but most probably negative feelings, which we identify as a stress. While anxiety is a normal reaction of the human body to face a pandemic situation, panic and fear might be as dangerous to ourselves, as to people around us.
For the time present and for the days that are to come, until the pandemic is all over, we’ve got to stay as calm and focused, as we can. The COVID-19 vaccines are here, new ones are in progress, and every day we come closer to achieving the unique solution.
But again: did we stay stable and not driven by transitory emotions, overtaking us, as lockdowns come and go? Did our relationship grow stronger more than ever, or exactly the opposite – it crushed, like a house of cards, blown by the COVID-19 wind, coming towards our reality?
While sharing evenings and weekends can be achieved as a quiet, peaceful time with your loved one, 24-hour relationship is another story, and it doesn’t always finish with a happy ending. Fighting about children, labour chores, nasty habits, and almost everything in the world you could possibly think for, is a challenge not every couple survives after.
Although there aren’t any statistics for divorces and split-ups globally, the situation appears to be the same in every country. Love seems to be threatened by the COVID-19 pandemic.
COVID-19 ruined our marriage
Quotes like this are all over the medias, as the circumstances are pushing the limits, but also gives us time to ask if we really choose our partner for life wisely and if we share the same values and visions for life, as we did before.
So, how can we continue living as a happy couple, instead of arguing, mumbling around and as it happens to be – even fighting one? It turns out there’s always a way out of every situation and there’s always an expert with years of research and clinical experience to share.
It’s most important to understand that accepting means facing the new normal, not confronting it and trying to change it. Which leads directly to lowering your expectations on what you can and achieve, how long it is going to take and what you’re doing right or wrong. And while self-judgement and self-respect are really virtues, the same must be applicable to your partner. You must learn to appreciate pandemic outbreak as a possibility to spend more time with your partner and go deeper in your relationship, instead of ruining it with accusations and insults.
You just have to realize you have to adjust yourself to it, instead of adjust the new normal to you, and also be able to enjoy giving away and taking in return. As the Austria and Germany survey, conducted by Barbara Rothmuller shows, in the past year couples actually had more fun together. In April 74 % of them appeared to like the company of their beloved one, and they felt the same way in November, dropping a few percent to 69 %.
How can I miss you, when you won’t go away?
a 69-year song by the American singer Dan Hicks says.
Well, it can all be applied to nowaday pandemic situations. As everybody needs a space for togetherness, and one for being alone, you have to learn how to deliver this to your partner, because you both deserve it.
It’s not easy to fight for privacy, when there isn’t enough room and everybody’s at home, but it’s not impossible. In fact, it’s an excellent opportunity to explore your partner’s habits and see if there’s still some things you don’t know about each other. Whether you’ll like them or not, only time will tell, and that’s what makes COVID-19 a game changer.
Eventually, it takes a lot of patience, empathy and respect for your beloved one, if you want your relationship to go through the crisis, and be a survivor at the end. You have to earn it, because you deserve it.
No matter if it’s a sport, cooking, watching a movie or playing some old-fashioned board games, pandemic pushes you to develop new, common interests.
Being involved in an enjoyable action can connect you in a different and attractive way you can’t even imagine, if it wasn’t for lockdowns getting in your way.
Grieving is also an option, because you certainly share the same emotions, and have lost in COVID-19 a lot, no matter if it’s a job, relatives or friends, or you’re just being frustrated by restrictions, obeying orders and wonder when it all will be over.
Either way it’s always easier to have a shoulder to cry on. Though we’re all going through an extremely hard period, the shared fear and pain are less stressful, as they make the danger look smaller and give us some consolation, even in a pandemic time.
Connecting sex and psychoanalysis is known since Sigmund Freud’s theory of 5 stages of psychosexual development. Being used as a therapy for many years from him and his followers, we can’t underestimate it in the current situation, as the call for intimacy is now needed to be heard, instead of withdrawn.
In fact, Maastricht University and KU Leuven Institute for family and sexual studies have conducted 2 studies last year, and assumed 10 minutes of kissing and cuddling are enough to provoke a feeling that appeared to be unachievable before. Their survey included couples living in Belgium, Germany, and the Netherlands, who volunteered to participate in it, in exchange for reimbursement. During the coronavirus pandemic, this might be another thing, bonding our relationship and keeping it stronger and well-balanced.
It looks like this one makes sense, much more than the other tips, because it seized the most common reasons for people to argue, when being in lockdown. Again, learning to appreciate someone’s help is needed and showing gratitude is expected. All the positive emotions are welcomed here and it’s a lot better to be open-minded and show care, than to pile up nerves and negative feelings inside you, ready to burst all at once.
In a pandemic situation, everything and everybody matters. Though, it’s quite disturbing, living in a cage with your partner, or your family as a whole, can be turned into a living hell. While conflicts, divorces and split-ups, as inequality and domestic violence aren’t tolerated, discovering of the opportunities COVID-19 lockdown gives us to take advantage of, is so essential. Beyond it all, it’s only love that counts, gives the better advice to follow and teaches the best lessons to learn for eternity.
MVS Pharma GmbH is an innovative pharmaceutical start-up company, which researches in the area of reducing viruses and bacteria with plant based aerosols. Their special formula ensures the purity and the stability of the used ingredients during storage.
Liliya Ganeva is an article writer, who explores all the actual, up-to-date COVID-19 information, and the possibilities for producing aerosols made out of plants against respiratory viruses and bacteria.